Understanding Narcissism & Narcissistic Abuse - Part 1
You have probably met someone with narcissistic traits or narcissistic personality disorder in your life. They are everywhere and may be our parents, siblings, children, our partners, lovers, friends, co-workers and bosses. I have met several throughout my life and one was even my partner for several years.
Narcissistic abuse can be soul-crushing, as it targets the very essence of you, making you feel unworthy, making you believe that no one cares about you, that you will never be good enough, that you will never be worthy of love, joy, freedom.
My story might be similar to the story of lots of you reading this post right now. That's why I decided to finally speak about narcissism. My Soul has come and said it was time to help others, to be more focused and embrace another part of my Soul Mission. I decided to listen and I feel so happy and free about it.
I´ve been through narcissistic abuse in a romantic relationship. I thought that a romantic relationship was deemed to be chaotic, sad, scary, traumatic…until I decided to leave that misery and found my husband, my soulmate, with whom I´ve been enjoying a healthy and harmonious relationship for almost 11 years.
I found my way out, healed my broken pieces, regained my self-worth, my self-love and re-started my life. The interesting thing is that the majority of my clients have also been in touch with narcissistic abuse, and I keep attracting Souls that are ready to heal and create a new reality in their life, exactly as I did. If you are reading this blog post right now, know that your situation can change, beloved! I made it, and I am here to help you and guide you with all the Love in the world.
My goal is to help you identify narcissistic traits in others, give you information about how to protect yourself from the narcissists you find in your life, to understand why they behave the way they do, and finally help you recognize your self-worth, learn to establish boundaries, honor yourself, and find the joy of being you, even if you haven't experienced any of that before. Believe me, anything is possible when you start healing your energy and making different choices on a daily basis.
On the spiritual side, I am here to help you see the message behind your Soul´s choice of being in touch with narcissistic abuse. You chose your family, your environment for this lifetime, so you could experience contrast, grow and evolve. If you are ready to heal from narcissistic abuse, or if you identify in yourself several narcissistic traits, the first step towards healing is taking responsibility for everything you have created and manifested in your life. There is Divine perfection, wisdom, and a purpose in everything you have experienced so far. You are not a victim, and even if you find it difficult to believe, you are already whole, complete and Divine. There is nothing to be fixed or to be improved. You only need to remember your true Divine Nature.
In this first blog post, I will be helping you identify narcissistic traits in others and will give you some tips on how to protect yourself from a narcissist.
In my experience and according to the literature, these are the most common traits found in the narcissistic personality:
Lack of empathy: narcissists are underempathic, they have no ability to value or recognize the feelings of other people. They cannot understand or care about others' emotions. As a consequence, they won't take accountability for the way they speak or treat others. They have no respect for your boundaries, and will open closed doors, will read your mail or personal journals, will open your wallet, purse, will steal your ideas, ask nosy questions, and won´t keep confidences. Narcissists will deny, blameshift, gaslight you, they will manipulate language to avoid taking responsibility for their criticism, aggression, lies, lack of patience, fantasies, etc., to the point, you will start doubting your own sanity, sense of reality.
Impulsivity: without empathy, driven by shame and prone to rage, they will have difficulty in controlling aggressive impulses. Narcissists often have moments of rage and aggression when you have different views of a topic or situation. I´ve experienced countless moments of these while in that relationship with that man.
Attention-seeking: they need to be the center of your attention and present an exaggerated need for admiration, approval, gratification. They want to be the most powerful or aware being in their personal universe.
Attitude of superiority and grandiosity: if they are not better than others, then they feel worthless. They are often judgmental, bossy, and perfectionist. If they feel down, they will try to make someone inferior, miserable. They will try to control and oppress you in order to regulate their emotions. However, they are not able to sustain a sense of superiority on their own, and are drawn to the praise and recognition from others.
Low self-esteem: behind their attitude of superiority and grandiosity, you will find a fragile self-est